Our story began in the month of Alturiak, midwinter in Baldur's Gate, on the Sword Coast, on the continent of Faerun, on the planet of Toril. We met a human warlock named Marianne Levov and a Tabaxi bard named Silver Goose Down. Marianne and Goose were staying at an inn named The Blade and Stars, and were hanging out drinking cherry wine at the bar. They were approached by Kerina Marcos, a half-drow lady who ran a nearby candle shop. She introduced them to her friend Basil. She had found Basil lying face down in a hole 10 months ago, near the Cloakwood to the south. She nursed him back to health, but he had amnesia and didn't remember anything about himself. She named him Basil. For the last ten months, he had been working at her candle shop. Now, she had been hearing of some suspicious goings-on near the Cloakwood, and thought that visiting there might jog his memory. So she offered Goose and Marianne 6gp each to take him down there. Or, if it worked, 15gp each. They accepted and introduced themselves to Basil while she got them more drinks. Basil was a strange person, with a robotic voice and features that almost resembled a tiefling of some sort. Before they could get much more done, they were interrupted by Rack Tookerman. Rack was a strange elderly human pirate from afar. He was also a coward - some pirate with the face of a bird was after him. He hid in Marianne and Goose's room upstairs and tried to barricade the door. He gave Goose an emerald in payment. He also recognised Basil from somewhere but couldn't remember where. Back at the bar, Kerina left back and returned to her shop. Soon after, two pirates came in looking for Rack. A Githyanki and a Halfling named Quith and Peasey. Peasey sniffed out Rack and questioned the party about him. He gave them a letter for Rack, and then left. The envelope had a seal that looked like a ᛝ. Goose immediately ripped open the letter, but couldn't read it. It was just a series of indecipherable black symbols. Probably not even writing. He brought it upstairs to Rack, who seemed to know what it was. He was afraid to look at it, but eventually did. When he saw it, the black symbols flew out of the page and into his eyes, killing him. He was still barely alive, but by the time that Goose ran to fetch Basil and Marianne, he was fully dead and blood was leaking from his ear. He had no pulse. After a bit of panicking, you looked through his small chest. He had a stone penis, an odourless bedroll, a small painting of a Dwarven woman lying naked in an ocean underneath the stars, and a crystal compass with the message "To Nugent". Soon afterwards, Quith returned and cast a fireball spell that engulfed the whole corridor and started burning the whole inn to the ground. With the help of Basil's grappling hook, you all escaped out the window, leaving Rack's body for ash. The inn was aflame, so Basil rushed in to try and save a few people. He did, but then he accidentally offended the innkeep. He did give her the descriptions of the pirates, which we said she'd tell to the guards. So you all hurried off to spend the night at Kerina's spare room above the candle shop. It was a comfortable, but cold night. Goose and Marianne shared a bed. In the morning, you all walked off to the Cloakwood early, but were stopped on Wyrms Crossing and paid a fee and got a quick patdown. Goose tried to con the guard, but made a fool of himself and got away unscathed. You all arrived in the Cloakwood in the evening, so set up camp. Basil slept in the snow, but braved through the cold. Overnight, you heard an explosion noise from the southern part of the Cloakwood. You decided to head south to see what it was, in the morning. You set off marching through the woods, but poor navigation meant that you ended up following your own tracks. After a few blunders of walking, Basil (who is very heavy), fell into an ice puddle. You fished him out, then sat by a tree to get a short rest. Someone came singing through the trees, all jolly-like. It was famous author Volothamp Geddarm, also known as Volo. He was singing a merry tune, and was in the Cloakwood to learn about goblins for an upcoming book about them. A friend had dropped him off this morning, so he hadn't heard the explosion. Marching on further, you were attacked by a winter wolf, who spoke common but Marianne scared off. You then came upon an ice lake, from which a goblin was ice-fishing. A friendly greeting from Basil scared him off, and you tried to fish from his hole. No fish! Following the Goblin, some other Goblins, Hobgoblins and Bugbears were sent after you to try and stop you from getting into their cave. You melted them and killed them, and you got into their cave. Turns out, their boss, a Hobgoblin named Krantor was a really chatty guy who wanted to show off his thing before killing you. See, he had been spending months gathering pieces of this big device. It was a Mosquito-class spelljammer, but he didn't know. He wanted to use it to take over the woods. He had captured a dinosaur woman, who communicated by producing smells, and forced her to repair it. You fought him, but not before Basil realised he recognised the spelljammer. He had flew on it with someone else manning the helm. Then he fell off, and the spelljammer crashed. You beat Krantor in a fight and killed him, saving the dinosaur woman who was very thankful. She knew there was just one piece missing - the helm. A young gem dragon to the south had it, and she was worried about that. You all decided to turn in for the night, and slept inside the Mosquito.

So you all woke up inside the Mosquito to the smell of smoke. The dinosaur woman was warming herself by the fire, because she was cold-blooded and she was cold. Goose had a nice interaction with her, where she tried to tell him that she was going to repair the helm for him to use it. She also explained that she'd need three days to repair everything once they got the helm. So you all set off southwards to get it, and soon ran into a curious flumph. It was searching for something in the snow, and you helped it dig, revealing a door. The door belonged to a young and snooty Amethyst Dragon that you didn't learn the name of. Anyway, this Dragon had collected the spelljamming helm some time ago, and had found it with the skeleton of its previous helmsman in it. They hoarded it. Just the other day, the same pirates that you met had bothered the dragon. They were looking for something, and had come to Toril to see if it was there. They were spelljamming pirates, of course. A magical device returned no results and they left, but not before sending Quith and Peasey after a guy in the city. The captain, a fierce and tough woman with the face of a bird (who apparently wasn't an Aarakocra) offered for the amethyst Dragon to join the crew, but they declined. Anyway, they weren't about to give up the helm to the likes of you. But after finding out that Basil kind of had a right to it, they agreed to give it up if Goose did a performance piece. Goose played a nice tune, which they were too snobby for. He then tried to play really loudly, which also bothered them. Finally, he played an artsy tune detailing the adventure up until this point, and Basil and Marianne did interpretive dance. He was also naked while he did this. The dragon was pleased, so gave you the helm, a bright silver chair with runes on it while the flumph snuck inside. The helm came with the skeleton magically stuck to it, and a map of Realmspace from the dragons father. The dragon gave you a word of warning about the pirate captain before slamming the door on you. Removing the skeleton from the chair, Basil tried to bury it in the snow but gave up without tools and left it sitting against a tree. You headed back to the cave where the mosquito was, and the dinosaur woman quickly got to work. Basil volunteered to help, and that cut the time down to two days. During those days, Marianne and Goose headed back to Baldur's Gate to pick up the reward from Kerina. She also gave them a gift to give to Basil - a small yellow lemon candle in a case. While heading through Wyrms Crossing, the toll had been raised. To evade the toll, Marianne gave the guard the painting of the naked dwarf, which she said was named Scarlet. He was very pleased. When they got back, Basil had changed into his spelljamming uniform, which he found in the mosquito. Goose took to the air and flew off! First stop was the library of Candlekeep to do some research on Spelljammers. You flew on over and just left it near the bluff. Marianne was a member, so you had no trouble getting in. She and Basil gave themselves a crash course in wildspace and began to map out a map of the flow. Meanwhile, Goose entertained himself with the pictures in a book on alchemy. When you all felt sufficiently read, you went back to the Mosquito to leave. You scared off a scholar who was a little too interested in your cool new device. Marianne had read in a book about 'The Rock of Bral', a small settlement on an asteroid in the Tears of Selune. It was apparently a hotbed of pirates, so it was probably a great place to search for clues about Basil's past. On the way to Selune you were interrupted by an encounter with a friendly vessel - a Gnomish Sidewheeler - The Fluffernutter. The Fluffernutter was a madly built thing with a giant robotic arm which waved at you all. A cheery gnomish artificer was descended on a rope and swung onto the top of the Mosquito. He was doing a survey, and wanted to hear about your deal. As a parting gift he gave you a tinkertoy mouse which did a variety of dances. Before flying off, Goose led the charge to name their ship. Everyone eventually settled on Towel, after the towel that you had got at The Blade and Stars. The newly christened Towel blasted off towards Selune again. You all pulled up to the Rock of Bral, a majestic city-on-an-asteroid which housed all sorts of new spelljamming cultures and things. A magistrate met you at the docks and collected payment for your stay there, good for ten days (and if you miss, Towel would be destroyed). He recommended the Laughing Beholder, an inn near the middle of the city. Before you all went in, Goose was stopped by a guy dressed as a clown with juggling pins in an alleyway. He covertly told Goose that he shouldn't be out in public dressed like he was. It was a confusing interaction, and the guy slunk off. Inside the Inn, you met the proprietor of the place, the friendly beholder Large Luigi. Large actually recognised Basil, and correctly identified him as being named Codex. Codex had booked a room with another man nearly a year ago, and had paid so much that they still had the room booked. Large was actually super knowledgeable about basically everything, but very tight lipped. He even knew the colour of Marianne's underwear, which she denied. He used telekinesis to part her robes and rudely reveal the truth in public. Marianne tried to save face by boasting about her powerful brain. Large Luigi agreed to share the name of the guy that Basil had come in with, if Goose played a jolly tune for everyone. Goose obliged, and after some rousing music, he spilled a bean. The other person's name was Chlenk. You went upstairs to your room, but stopped off by a giant metal device in the shape of a gnome. It worked like this - you inserted any item into its mouth, and it displayed a price in its eyes. When you inserted the money up the nose, it modified the item into a magical item with an unpredictable modification. Marianne tested it out on Rack's crystal compass which gave it a button that produced a puff of flowers. Unfortunately, the room had no clues. Chlenk and Basil (then as Codex) had only spent a night there months ago, and Luigi had kept the place clean. You all went to bed on the comfortable feather mattresses, but were bothered by the wet slapping noise from the room opposite.

So you all woke up to the continued sound of wet slapping. Marianne burst in to investigate who was slapping, and she found a man made out of goop who was lowering himself into a bucket again and again. She told him to stop, and he did, but it was gross. Downstairs, a messenger came to deliver a message to Goose. Inside an envelope was an invitation to an audition tomorrow at the "Singing Sphere" , as well as a red Kerchief. Luigi offered you all a job procuring Nocino from Coliar, but you thought about doing other stuff first. Wenceslaus had a job for Marianne too, he wanted her to terrify Thaddeus Crun, a wealthy miser who lived in the upper city of Bral. You stopped for some advice from Luigi before heading out into the street. You were stopped by a punkish looking guy wearing a blue toga. He knew Marianne's name and wanted to take her 'To the Boss'. When she declined, he attacked her. He managed to knock her out, pick her up, and run away with her. You chased him down and knocked him unconscious. It turned out that he was really a Nothic with a magic gold chain that made him look like a Toga'd punk. Marianne took the chain and killed the nothic while he was still out cold. Setting off again, you saw another slime person, and asked whether the bucket thing was a sex act. You learned that they reproduced through mitosis, and it was probably gross. In the market, you were again stopped by a second identical nothic in disguise. This one had a gun, he shot Goose and blackmailed you all into coming with him to the site, in a back alleyway. There, he showed you into a dark room with a curtain. He locked the door. From behind the curtain, a candle illuminated a cardboard figure, and a robotic voice introduced himself as the boss. Marianne saw right through it, and even took a look at the back room where dilapidated robot parts were stored. Meanwhile, Basil was attacked by a Grell. Together with Marianne, they killed the Grell (Basil catapulted a metal finger through it). Then, the Nothic opened the door. They killed him too. Basil had no interest in using this one's magical necklace, but did take it along with the gun. It was a bonding moment for the two. A small rat with a tentacled face nibbled at Goose's toe, so you all took him back to the Laughing Beholder. The beholder laughed at you for not investigating more, but it was getting later so you all took a long rest. The next day, early, you decided to set out for Crun's home, but were interrupted again. A Neogi was scratching at your door, so you climbed out the window and came in behind it to surprise the thing. It hid in your room and got the jump on you. It took control of Marianne, but she broke out and you killed it after a struggle. Morning dawned, and you went off to Crun's mansion before going off to Goose's audition. It was a super fancy building, even with a portico, but all the windows were boarded up. With the aid of a grappling hook, you got onto the roof, with the intent of getting down the chimney. Only Goose could fit in, so he took one of the chimneys and ended up in the fireplace downstairs. The place was dusty and abandoned, but he snagged a cookie tin with a tiny ghost inside. The house was haunted, a spectral woman was in the dining room trying to eat mouldy food. She spotted Goose when he tried to sneak by, and chased him back up the chimney. Goose used the grappling hook to get back up, and was fine. To try and get in a different way, Marianne used her pact weapon, a greataxe, to bash in the french doors to the rooftop garden. When she did eventually get through, she was met with Crun himself, in a nightshirt and candle. He had a wand which he used to shoot a beam at the party, downing Goose. Basil took Goose and scampered back to street level, while Marianne tried to scare Crun herself. Unfortunately, he lived in a haunted house and saw right through her act. She tried to threaten him monetarily, but he was bored of that. He called for guards, so she started kicking him. Some guards appeared with a ladder, so she ran into the house and found an abandoned children's bedroom with a ghost in it. The guards ran in, and she was up against it. She put on the necklace to change into the punk, and knocked out Crun. The guards came in, but she failed to convince them that she was the wrong person. They arrested her, knocked her out, and took her to the High City's Magistrate to get her tried. Basil, with an unconscious Goose, followed and spectated the trial. Marianne was suspected to be the punkish guy that she was disguised as, and was also tried for murder. With the help of Basil, she was let off from that charge, but the magistrate suspected her as the person behind the Crun break-in. Unknown to you all, after Marianne had been knocked out, Crun came to and gave a short testimonial that made Marianne's courthouse lies awkward. Here's how it ended up. Her necklace was taken and sent to be destroyed. Goose was suspected of being part of a group called 'The Juggler's Men', and the magistrate started to turn his eye to suspect Basil of something. Marianne was sentenced to death by jettisoning, and was taken to a pod to be shot into space. Basil, with Goose, raced out towards to the docks to get to Towel in time. He stole a healing potion, evaded the guards, and healed Goose up just enough to allow him to fly Towel. They spotted Marianne floating in space. He caught her, brought her in, and everyone lay on the ground as the realization that they probably would never return to Bral dawned.

So you all headed off to Selune, but spotted something on the way. Someone on one of the tears of Selune, a stranded goblin named Egbo had been stranded five years ago in a dangerous jungle-sort-of asteroid. She had made herself a circle of white powder and just barely survived. She was on the asteroid because a vampire named Nexxar killed her captain and stranded her and a crewmate their when they fought the mutiny. You saw Egbo's distress message, landed, and picked her up. She was eager to see you, but offended when Marianne started asking for some form of payment. Egbo wanted to go to Bral, but you decided to take her to Selune instead. While flying there, a dog came galloping through space towards The Towel. It was a chubby red haired puppy, and seemed excited. You evaded it and went towards Selune. While approaching Selune, Goose had a vision of a bright-looking woman named Kanzler Hariclea. The vision invited them to dock at the Leiran Trading Centre, the tallest and most impressive building in Leira (which is what the moon people call Selune). You were met with a cheery but domineering inspector, who asked a lot of questions, then took your clothes and items, made you stand naked in a room which had a zone of truth effect, and asked you even more questions. Some Flying Cats were also brought aboard Towel to smell for illegal items. Like all Leirans, the inspector was incredibly suspicious of people from Toril. He thought that on Toril people raise their children to kill, and confided in Basil that Goose and Marianne would betray him. But you passed all the checks, so he returned your stuff and put you in orange collars, which had a magical effect of some kind. Egbo was given Leiran clothing to replace her raggy mess, and Goose was given Leiran clothing because he wanted it. You were set loose in Leira! Egbo immediately ditched you. The Leira Trading Centre had so many floors, and smelt strongly of chlorine. You were approached by a friendly Leiran who wanted to talk to you, but she left pretty quickly when she found out you were from Toril. So you went to Floor 4 and visited the Sauna. Marianne tried to change into the punk, but took off the necklace and changed back when she realized this meant she didn't appear to have a collar like everyone else. She ended up in conversation with Boris, a dwarven saunagoer who couldn't get enough of the dry heat. He was naked, but his beard was covering all the parts. It turned out he knew Quith! Or at least, another Gith with the same name. You learned that Quith was mounting a voyage from Bral to Toril and that Boris was interested in the job. Marianne left on good terms with Boris. You all needed a rest, so you went upstairs to your lodgings. You were surprised to learn that Leirans sleep on the walls, so Goose asked for one big bed for everyone to share. You got it, and all had a rest. Basil saw some petals, and a table with a cornucopia of fruit appear in the corner of the room. He tried to wake everyone up, but Marianne was stuck in a weird dream! She dreamt that she was holding up a giant rock, avoiding sea bees, falling into the ocean, realising that the ocean was an illusion, falling into a giant mouth, and losing her personality. She made one of each of the saving throws. When she woke up, a maiden riding a unicorn had appeared behind the fruits. The woman was overjoyed - and explained that Marianne had just become pregnant and was to become the virgin mother of a baby girl. The father was Priapusapus, the son of Priapus. Marianne didn't like this, and wanted to go and visit Priapusapus, who apparently lived on Karpri. The woman seemed anxious about this, and was sad that Marianne wasn't taking it so well. Goose was taking mouthfuls of mango and grapes. To try and win Marianne over, the woman offered her a golden tiara, but she gave that to Goose. Marianne showed the Unicorn woman the door. To try and get information about what to do next, Marianne contacted Wenceslaus. He wanted all sorts of weird things, like ripping out its eyes and smearing the blood around, and he was very disappointed in how the Crun situation had turned out. Marianne closed the book on him, and everyone went to go get food from the dining hall. On Leira, everyone ate Splim, a brown custardy thing that is spread on toast. It tasted fine, actually. You sat next to Boris, who sounded exhausted but offered Marianne a discount at his dwarven friend's shop on the trading floor. You all went there, but couldn't find the specific shop. Someone was selling part of a gold statue named 'Sulchrubazius' in Draconic. You were approached by Gjat, a man who was very interested in buying Basil, who was not for sale. He offered ridiculous sums of money, but you brushed him off. Gjat was wearing a big orange hat shaped like an eye. You went to the other floor, and met with Kamrar Winigan, a loud-talking dwarf who resold things he had stolen from Chandos. Marianne wanted to buy a Cube of Force, but had very little money. Maybe a picture of a dwarven woman could've won him over, but that was left with a guard back on Toril. Instead she traded him Crun's wand and some extra Leiran Flyers. After that, an insistent Gjat approached. Basil threatened him, but he had something new to say. Gjat explained that he was the servant of a Leiran man named Ezel. Ezel was the person who wanted to buy Basil, and wasn't giving up. Ezel invited everyone to dinner at his house, which Basil tentatively accepted.

So Gjat was going to meet you back at your room that evening to take you to Ezel's home. Kamrar, the dwarf merchant, offered Marianne a job retrieving treasures from Chandos. She accepted - when she comes back with treasures, he would buy them for gold pieces. You all went to the Pipe room to kill some time, but were stopped by a mysterious woman in the elevator. She told you not to go to Ezel's home, not to eat his food, and to leave. Basil stopped to ask her why. She said that he was untrustworthy and then she left. The pipe room was relaxing. Marianne chose not to smoke, Basil couldn't, and Goose rudely imitated a dragonborn patron. You headed down to your rooms, and Gjat took you via the elevator to floor 12 of the LTC - a 'Drake Dock', where rainbow drakes with carriages on them took passengers all around Leira. He fed the drake 5 Leiran Flyers, and it flew off to another skyscraper where Ezel lives. You got off, and took the elevator up. Ezel's house was filled with all sorts of unique archaeological artifacts from the history of Leira, which Ezel was proud to show off. He even showed you his expansive library before taking you to the dinner table. His servant Gjat had prepared a three-course Torilian meal. Marianne didn't eat any, she lied about her pregnancy, and told Goose not to eat any either. Gjat was offended a little, but he was understanding. Goose snuck off to the bedroom, where Gjat had prepared a big bed like in the LTC. He ate one of the cracker entrees in secret. Ezel's daughter came in looking for her 'Daddy', but quickly left. Ezel offered to buy Basil for a very large sum of money, and wanted him to make his decision in the morning. You slept peacefully in Ezel's house. The next morning, Gjat brought in some delicious cherry pies for breakfast, which Goose wolfed down. Ezel was waiting outside, and was disappointed when you didn't sell him Basil. In fact he let loose a Gargoctopus, a cross between an elephant and an octopus to attack you. You fought off the beast, and used the cube of force to prevent Ezel from getting in. Basil strangled Ezel against the wall of force, but you all made a run for it when Gjat smashed a glass case belonging to "Zerka, Aid to the Vampire Lords During the Age of Beasts". You got into the lift, but it didn't operate for you. So you climbed up the service hatch, hung from the grappling hook, and cut the magical belt when Gjat got into it. Then, using the grappling hook, you shimmied up the shaft. Ezel stuck his head out, so Basil shot at him. Then you decided to go down the shaft. You went past Zerka, who was perched in the shaft. She spoke a strange language, but Marianne gave her the pituitary gland he had gotten from the Nothic on Bral. She seemed to like it, but it wasn't blood. At the bottom, the lift was crumpled and inoperable. You pretended to be maintenance workers, 'borrowed' five Leiran Flyers, and flew back to the LTC. While you were leaving, a official police-sort of drake arrived. Back at the LTC, you quickly got off of Leira as fast as you could. You were going to head over to Karpri, but didn't have enough rations. So it was back to Toril to recuperate a bit. Surprise surprise, the dog from before had stowed away on your ship. Goose took a liking to him and named him Squimp. You touched down in Waterdeep, and visited the local shops. Old Xoblob's Shop was nice, but useless. Frimp's Findery was a good place to buy rations, so Marianne did. On the way back, you encountered Volo! He was pleased to see you again. Marianne tricked him by making him believe that she was pregnant with his kid, which had happened magically. She grifted him out of an IOU, then went to The Yawning Portal to cash it. The stern bartender there didn't want to, but eventually just gave her 15 gp. She asked about the entry to Undermountain, but he judged her as not ready. You all went back to the Towel.

So the next day Marianne realised she had plantar fasciitis. So she visited a podiatrist, Dr Boubacar. Dr Boubacar treated feet by chanting into them, but he needed a day to prepare the chant. That night, Goose took Squimp out for a poop on the docks. He used an illusion spell to cover the poop with the image of a rock. A halfling shopkeeper, Murianna Swindleheart, approached the party and offered them a job. She had funded a voyage to Chult to pick up goods, but when it arrived, she couldn't pay the tarrifs. So she wanted to pay you to sneak on board and get some of the goods for her. So you did - pretending to be 'Crate Inspectors'. You deceived the guard at the gangplank, and easily got inside. There were heaps of crates, with all sorts of Chultan goods from Port Nyanzaru. Even a caged, sleeping triceratops! Marianne, using the necklace to disguise herself as the weird guy, got some of the soldiers guarding the boat to help you move the crates to an alleyway, where Basil guarded them while you took them to Murianna's shop, Aurora's Realms Shop. Murianna gave you all a hefty payment, and you left. The next day, Marianne went to her Podiatrist appointment. Dr Boubacar did a chant straight to Marianne's bare feet while Basil read a magazine. The chanting went on for a bit long, but cured Marianne's foot problem. You all left, but there was a sewer problem, which spewed some poopy water onto the pavement, with some books too. Goose stripped bare and jumped into the puddle, but it was gross and he got sick. You carried Goose back to The Towel to wash him off. Marianne bought soap. It took two days to fly to Karpri. Basil inspected himself for mechanical faults, and Marianne did research. Karpri was a big old water planet with two icy poles and a big matted equator of sargasso seaweed. There was no sign of civilisation, so you had no clue where Priapusapus was meant to be. Goose took the towel to the North Pole, but it was just a frozen wasteland. You found an infernal black harp on top of an icy bridge. There were some flounders moving around in the water, and Goose caught one. When Marianne tried to pick up the Harp, it attacked her! You all fought the harp, and then took it back to The Towel when you had killed all the evil bits off it. Goose was recovering from the freezing cold, and also from the infection that he caught in the sewer water. With a day's rest, he got over it. You flew on over to the seaweed belt, to try and find anything, flying over a number of dolphin pods in the ocean. The seaweed belt was stinky and horrid, and insect laden. Goose dug around and caught some beetles to eat, then found a weird brown fruit. Then you dug up Priapusapus. Priapusapus was a giant blue, sweaty, wet, stinky, hairy Empyrean. He was a pushover and annoying. He seemed kind of remorseful that he had used a complicated ritual to impregnate many women of realmspace, which had been chosen at random. He also revealed that he didn't like his dad Priapus, who lived in the outer planes. The two had never met, but Priapusapus eventually agreed to send the three of you, with Squimp, to his fathers domain so that Marianne could talk to him. He cast Plane Shift on you all, and vwooom...

... you arrived in the realm of Olympus, on the layer of Arvandor, in the plane of Arborea. You appeared outside a grand temple to Priapus, but the temple was ruined. Walls had crumbled and a grand statue to Priapus had been shattered. A brash minotaur was sharpening her axe in the first room. She was kind of dismissive, but you did get some information out of her. Priapus had been thrown out of the temple some time ago. Marianne tried to blast her, but her spells weren't working here. Everyone was acting a little different. Marianne was a little more high-strung, goose a little more animalistic, and Basil became a cowboy of sorts. Marianne tossed goose to the ground, and a small vineyard began to grow where he fell, growing blue grapes. Goose had some, and they tasted like fairy floss. Soon enough, a house was there too. Inside it was a jolly satyr fashioning a wooden flute. Goose took it and played a fun tune while he laughed along. He talked as if he and his vineyard had been there a while, but from your perspective it all had just been created. He had heard of where Priapus might be though, at Dionysus's vineyard. The friendly Satyr wanted you all to stay for a rabbit dinner, but you had places to be. As you went off, Marianne's Treatise was flapping up a storm. Wenceslaus wanted to speak with her. Marianne rushed back to the Satyr's house, and threw him out so she could use a dark room to communicate with her patron. He was furious! He was mad that she had been traipsing about realmspace, and now the planar system. He had never had a warlock be so hard to keep track of. Marianne tried to get some sort of thing out of him, but he did offer some help. First, he explained that her spellcasting wouldn't work unless she performed a rite to Hecate. That meant sacrificing a Dog, Wolf, Polecat, or a large red mullet in her name. Wenceslaus also gave her a basic map of Mt Olympus. He closed the book on her. Outside, Goose was playing a ridiculous tune. You went down to the Kourakis river to try and fish out a Mullet. The Kourakis was swift and dark. Basil jumped in to try and grab a fish, but fell into a demiplane where a Naiad, taking the form of him, pushed him back out onto the shore. It happened again, and then he tried to fight it. It was too strong a foe for him, and he willingly was pushed out the third time. A donkey began to drink at the opposing bank. So you set off downstream towards Thalassia. Distance was weird here, and what should've been a shortish walk took long into the evening. As the light grew dim, a tree craned forward with Priapusapus's face. He was speaking to you from the material plane, and wanted to know if you wanted to come back. He was speaking to the people who had helped him with the rituals, and they had told him that sending you to the outer planes was a bad idea. Also, they were gearing up for another ritual. Marianne was dismissive of him, but did manage to convince him to stop with the immaculate conception stuff. He accepted. Getting nowhere towards Thalassia, you all turned in for the night. Basil watched through his materialised western hat as a necromancer in the distance raised three skeletons from the earth. Then, a lumbering cyclops came over to watch. He was particularly interested in Basil. He introduced himself as Lobon, son of Arges, who labours for Hephaestus. To him, Basil was a fascinating work of craftsmanship. He invited Basil to visit Hephaestus's forge. He seemed polite, but his loud talking woke everyone up in the middle of the night. You all went back to sleep. Marianne had a lurid and lewd dream about Barnabus. When day came, you resumed your journey to Thalassia. Goose was drawn by the sound of musical performance from Apollo's Temple, but was course-corrected by a sense of planning. The pace was better than it had been, and you did soon arrive at Thalassia, just as the fishing boats were heading out for the day. But there was trouble! A huge crab was attacking the town, and scratching at the doors. Heroically, you all rushed in to defend the town, but quickly found the crab too strong for the three of you alone. Marianne called out three townsfolk with spears to help in the fight. One of them got pinched to death, but you turned back the tides and scared off the crab. The Thalassians hailed you as a hero and gave you a feast of grilled octopus. And somehow, a mural to your victory had already been built. Marianne did some weaseling, and ended up with a dog. Ithikos was a cute, energetic dog, and he had belonged to the fallen spearman. She also talked to the leader of Thalassia, who confirmed the rumor that Priapus was off with Dionysus, and Pan. He had heard that Priapus had become impotent, as well. So you all set off, now with Ithikos the fluffy dog. As soon as you were out of sight of Thalassia, Marianne bashed Ithikos's head in with her quarterstaff. She sacrificed him to Hecate, the corpse was swallowed by the earth, and she got her magic back! She then found a den of polecats, but after blasting them to death, another ritual didn't work or do anything. Lastly, before getting to Dionysus's vineyard, you came upon a crack in the earth where stinky steam was emerging. A catoblepas was cleaning itself, and after a violent fight, you slew it!

So you approached Dionysus's vineyard, but took a long rest before entering, just in case. You were met by two Satyr guards at an entrance, who gave you all wine and showed you into a fig bush to change into leafy attire. There was a Sensate from Sigil named Baggebo sleeping there, but you eventually scared him off. Dionysus's Vineyard was mazelike and chaotic. You met a small gnome-like man who introduced himself as Cucullatus and said he could help you find Priapus. Basil picked him up when he got annoying and giggly. Marianne killed him, and he shriveled up and disappeared. Navigating the vineyard, you came upon a mess of brawling devotees to Dionysus. Out from the throng came Cucullatus again, as he was immune to being killed. You fought and killed the brawlers, as well as a bull that was there too, using the cube of force in various ways. It was a mess of a vineyard, and as you continued on you met Cucullatus again. He was, of course, Priapus in disguise. Cursed to impotency by the Olympians, he was not in any shape to give Marianne a reward for anything. So you set out to convince Zeus and the others to reinstate Priapus's powers. But you were very rude to Priapus, and killed him again. His son spoke to you through a bunch of grapes, but Marianne was dismissive to him too. Things were weird for him now that he had stopped doing ritual conceptions. You spent two more days getting lost in the vineyard, traversing small lakes of honey, that sort of thing. Goose played a tune for someone he couldn't see, and was rewarded with a set of pan pipes. Eventually, lost and confused, you gave up all hope of meeting Dionysus. Silenus appeared and showed you out of the vineyard. You thought it best to head to Hephaestus's forge to talk to him now. You walked past Demeter's field and over to the more volcanic region, as the far-off landscape changed and two moons appeared in the distant sky. The final hurdle before you reached Hephaestus's volcanic forge was to cross a river of magma. You tried to do this with the Cube of Force, but settled on creating a pole vault and getting basil to leap over it. He succeeded, and found an entrance to the forge without a door. Thinking on his feet, he disassembled his hand crossbow in the magma and smithed himself a key. The doors opened, revealing the great forge of Hephaestus. Hephaestus himself came out to meet him. He was very interested in the craft of Basil, and said it was beyond even him. You made an agreement with the god of the forge - he would send you to the top of mount olympus - as long as you didn't reveal who sent you there - to convince the olympians to reinstate Priapus - and then Basil would show him 'the weapons of the future'. With his godly powers, he opened up an ancient tunnel...

I can't wait to show you Session 9